Dan Goleman, "Social Intelligence and the Biology of Leadership," 2008

"What Makes a Leader?"

People in the business community started talking about the vital role that empathy and self knowledge play in effective leadership.

Social neuroscience - the study of what happens in the brain while people interact.

The notion that effective leadership is about having powerful social circuits in the brain has prompted us to extend our concept of emotional intelligence.

Followers mirror their leaders - Literally, based from an Italian neuroscientist research found the first evidence that the brain is peppered with neurons that mimic, or mirror, what another being does.
Mirror neurons have particular importance in organizations, because leaders emotion and action prompt followers to mirror those feelings and deeds.

So, if leaders hope to get the best out of their people, they should continue to be demanding but in ways that foster a positive mood in their teams.

The "Finely Attuned" Leader

Spindle cells produce Intuition
Oscillators coordinate people physically by regulating how and when their bodies move together.
Trust your gut, but get lots of input as you make decisions.
Attunement is literally physical.

Firing Up Your Social Neurons

The only way to develop your social circuitry effectively is to undertake the hard work of changing your behavior.

How to  Become Socially Smarter

Leaders can change if, they are ready to put in the effort.

Hard Metrics of Social Intelligence

Social Intelligence turns out to be especially important in crisis situations.

Deidre Combs, "Celebrate Your Struggles" at TEDxBozeman

Battle of ideas
We needs conflict to change
Fighting with live, Fighting with our brain.
One cross cultural technique: Conflict comes, be Grateful!
See the bigger picture.
Not just be Grateful for conflict but be grateful for your enemy too.
Listen to your enemy, for God is talking.
We forget they have value.
Conflict of life. Life bring struggles.

Source http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEAzWD3038Y

Deidre Combs, The Way of Conflict, Part 2 The Rules

Chapter 5
The Object of the Game.

"Out beyond the ideas of right doing and wrong doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there." - Jelaluddin Rumi.
In Islam teaching the field is Mahsyar Field, the land where all creatures will be gathered for accountability of right doing and wrong doing. Literally that if we had right doing and wrong doing, we should meet in the center.

The universe as a living system made of interdependent, interrelated systems. If we seee only the parts of something, as the blind men did, we miss reality.

Systems constantly emit and receiving energy. In conflict, systems are active.
Conflict creates energy, or creative tension, which encourages the participationg subsystems to move and evolve.
We are blind yet interconnected, we must listen to and incorporate as many different voices as possible to understant the greater reality and find an appropriate solution.
The world left Germany in financial ruin after World War I and then The Third Reich quickly waged war once more in an effort to return to economic wholenes. This result not only wrought World War II but eventually necessitated a new policy of reconstruction and the development of United Nations.

Chapter 6
Introducing Conflict's Four Quarters.

Conflict Process: Change/Disruption - Intensification/Chaos - Adaptation/Evolution - New Solution/Stability => NEW INFORMATION INTRODUCED. If not resolved, path will continue.

The Elemental conflict lifecycle:
Phase 1: Earth - Change and Disruption.
Phase 2: Water - Chaos.
Phase 3: Fire - Evolution or Creativity.
Phase 4: Air - Stability.

Chapter 7
Time on the Sidelines: Getting Stuck in a Dispute.

"Prosperity is a great teacher, adversity a greater" - William Hazlitt.

Phase I - Earth (Disruption)
Refusal to change
Denial and inertia

Phase II - Water (Chaos)
Refusal to engage
Hopelessness and despair

Phase III - Fire (Creativity)
Refusal to adapt
Frustation and violence

Phase IV - Air (Stability)
Refusal to implement
Fear and doubt

Chapter 8
Home Base: The Power of the Center

Four Centering Techniques:
When stuck in Earth, Move!
When stuck in Water, Express Yourself!
When stuck in Fire, Ground!
When stuck in Air, Get Quiet!

Chapter 9
The Oldest Game in the Book

"Life has meaning only in the struggles. Triumph or defeat is in the hands of God. So let us celebrate the struggles." - Swahili warrior song.

Conflict is a universal tango that has been part and parcel of existence from the beginning. Quantum physics says that this never-ending dance started in the first microseconds of the Universe when a great disequilibrium or fluctuation occurred.

Conflict is:
- The constant dance between systems
- a source of evolution and growth
- a repeated four-staged process that upon completion yields a lasting, win-win resolution
- a game played best when all parties are seen as equal, interconnected, and valuable.

Active Listening

How much information you get everyday from listening?
How much you paying attention?
remember from listening?
Act you listening, but your mind racing topics or planning to answer it.
Listening is a skill!
Active Listening is when you have conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, try to understand the complete message being sent.
1. Pay Attention!
2. Show that you're Listening!
3. Provide Feedback!
4. Defer Judgement!
5. Respon Appropriately! Not meaning that you are interupting...

Source: http://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm

How I Intend to Complete My 10 Hours of Service

Bozeman International Children's Festival

In the upcoming “Fall International Children’s Festival” at Bogert Park on Saturday morning, 10:00 am, September 22, we have been given a special booth for Indonesian section from the University Office of International Program (OIP). This is a good opportunity for me to have a direct contact with the society while we stay here in Bozeman.

Since Bozeman is a city of college students, there are many people from around the world came here to join the classes at Montana State University (MSU), and as the institution of OIP is doing very well, many foreign college student from across the country that live here as well for the same purpose.

“This Fall International Children’s Festival is created for the children of Bozeman to actively engage with MSU’s international students as well as the local organization”, said Debra De Bode, the Director of International Students and Scholar Services. There will be many booths from these international students participating in this festival. They will present their culture to the children and have fun to play with. I, as Indonesian, will set up games for those children so they know that Indonesian traditional games are quiet easy to play and the supplies can be reached from the store around here. These games are very popular and always be a hit as our Independence Day games. I try to introduce these games hoping that our (Indonesian) games will become an international game around the neighborhoods and also be popular among children around the world.

I am going to bring in these Indonesian traditional games called Marble Speed Race, Chips Eating Race, and Bottle Pen Race. Each game have difference influence to the kids, both mentally and physically. Marble Speed Race can teach the children to be focus, because they have to keep the marble stay steady on the spoon that held by their mouth while they walk or even run to the finish line to win. Chips Eating Race will make them appreciate the nature system of causity and consequences of surrounding, and how they impact you, in this case, if someone already bite by pulling the chips, the string that is connected all together will shaking and you have to wait or try to stop your chip from shaking, not by hand, so that you can continue to eat it bite after bite until you eat them all. Bottle Pen Race is played by tie the pen in the end of a string at your back like a tail, and it will need so much patience and control of yourself to get the pen into the bottle, because the more you get impatience the more difficult to get the pen in for whenever you feel anxious it can make the string swaying even wildly.

These simple games will unconsciously educate the children on how to conduct themselves in many various situations if we can direct them in a good and positive way. I believe our Indonesian games and many other games or activities presented by the other countries will make the children feel more confident, powerful, fearless, and cheerful, moreover have a good skill to interact with people or society, especially from other nation. I hope that they can carry on this relationship in a higher phase all the way they reach the grown up age.

 

ROC Wheels - Provide mobility products for people with disabilities in developing countries

 

This month I volunteer at Reach Out and Care Wheels (ROCWheels Inc.) in everytwo hours Friday morning for 5 weeks. ROCWheels established to provide mobility products for people with disabilities in developing countries and encouraged to promote partnerships through service, youth empowerment, wheelchair distribution, manufacturing and educational developmentopportunities. This is a non-profit charitable organization.

I found the organization by browsing the internet for volunteer activities in Bozeman. Gallatin Valley Food Bank and ROC Wheels is my target for volunteer, because for their humanitarian social cause. After trying to contact both of the organization, finale ROC Wheels is the easy in forward to contact and accepted me to volunteer there. Andrew Babcock the Executive Director of ROC Wheel asks me to come to the office for an interview.

It is Friday morning and I drove to Gallatin Park Drive, north of Bozeman. The ROC Wheels office and workshop is on that street. It took me a half hour drive in traffic to there. Using my map-software on my phone, it w not difficult to find it. I went inside the office and then I met an elderly woman, which is Andrew's secretary. She greets me and asked to come in to Andrews office, where he is already waiting me. He is a white blonde man, with a medium size of weight and height. He gave his hand and we shake hand. I introduced myself again and appointing my interest to volunteer in his organization. Andrew explains about his organization, their purpose and target. He even mentions that he is trying to expand his organization works to Indonesia. From his information, he was contacting to an Indonesian manufacturing company, which is not far from my home in Jakarta.

We discussed on how I could be contribute on the organization. After knows that I am a mechanical engineer he said that he got very volunteer activity for me.

 

Day 1 @ ROC

 

At 9:30 I arrived at ROC, it is around 30 minutes’ drive from my house. The traffic is low and it did not take such effort to go there. After entering the office, Andrew comes out from his room. He asks me to join him to the workshop. In the workshop, he pointed to a workstation where I will be working, and gives a brief how to manufacture a wheelchair. With a manual book and a finished wheelchair as an example, he asked to me to start manufacture a wheelchair that is still in the box. It is quite awkward in the beginning, but after thinking that the needs one will use this chair, I did not hesitate no more.

Start from installing the frame and the wheels. With some bolts that need to tighten by a wrench. If there is some difficulties, I look again the manual book or to the example wheelchair. Slowly but sure, with some reworks, the wheelchair is finished. Andrew was amazed that it finishes so quickly. After he checks it and declares that it is ok, he asks to dismantle again and package the parts again to the box.

Dismantling the wheelchair is a fun part, after the experience installing it. I have accustomed with the tools and the wheel itself. The challenging part was to put every part in order in the box. At the end, Andrew guides for this task.

Day 2, Next Week @ ROC

The same time as last week, I arrived at the ROC. Now is the time to prepare for wheelchair parts that will use by volunteers to build. Andrew gave me a paper list of more than 100 parts with a total of more than 1000 items. He showed me stacks of large container in the corner. He said that the container has given a number for the parts to insert into it. He shows where the parts that will be sorted. Base on the paper, I started sifting through the parts and insert into the container by number.  It took me more than two hours to finish this job. It is very overwhelming to do this job, when remember that this wheelchair will be use for the disable kids.

Day 3, Third Week @ ROC


Now it is already a habit to have a Friday morning works in ROC. In this week, we should finish the inventory for the new wheelchair project. Now we are cataloging the small items. We used a scale to help us in counting the items. Almost 3000 items we sort to the containers. Many of the parts were various bolts, nuts and even spring. These wheelchairs are ready in two sizes. 13 inches sizes and 15 inches sizes. It was mean to accommodate every size of children. The ROC wheelchairs targeted the little ones in hope that their bones were not ruin so much. I really enjoyed to volunteer in ROC to help the needs one.

Peter Drucker, "Managing Ourself."

The Idea In Practice:

"What are my strengths?"

"How do I work?"

"How do I perform?"

"Am I a reader or a listener?"
"How do I learn?"

• Who learn by writing
• Who learn by speaking

The conclusion bears repeating:
DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE YOURSELF - YOU ARE UNLIKELY TO SUCCEED
But work hard to improve the way you perform. And try not to take on work you cannot perform or will only perform poorly.

"What are my values?"
To work in organization whose value system is unacceptable or incompatible with one's own condemns a person both to frustration and nonperformance.

"Where do I belong?"
Successful careers are not planned. They develop when people are prepared for opportunities because they know their strengths, their method of work, and their values. Knowing where one belongs can transform an ordinary person-hardworking and competent but otherwise mediocre-into an outstanding performer.

"What can I contribute?"

Responsibility for Relationships

The Second Half of YOUR Life

Dave Meldahl, "Red Ears and Blind Spots"

"How important is it for you to know what you're doing well as a leader and what you could do better?"

It is extremely important to know the answer to that question to be the best leader you can be. It is the feedback of your leaders, peers, clients, and so on. There are many possible way to do this, you can hired someone to help guide the process so it has sufficient depth and is done in a way that people are open and candid, or just do the simple way, do-it-yourself approach would be to invite a cross-section of people to share their perspective with you directly, and also you can make a use of the HR department to help you.

JOHARI Window; self-awareness, communication, realtionship, and the blind spot. In terms of development, it's essential to reduce the size of one's blind spot, thereby increasing one's awareness of which behaviors are productive and which are not.

The development of leaders and teams are two of those causes that deserve as much attention as product development, marketing, and customer service. At the end of the day, the success of any organization is limited primarily by the quality of its leadership.

The Root Interview: Claude Steele on How Racial Stereotypes Harm Performance

Stereotypes Threat definition is being in situation in negative stereotypes based on group identities

Judging and treating could be upsetting, distracting, disturbing, iritating.

Teach people about it, make them aware.

Source:
http://www.theroot.com/multimedia/root-interview-claude-steele-how-racial-stereotypes-harm-performance

Kathy Castania, "The Evolving Language of Diversity"

"Language are not only expresses ideas and concepts but actually shapes thoughts," Robert B. Moore in Racism in the English Language

We all know that there are still people who intentionally express bias and prejudice when speaking about members of groups; however, we can assume that most people wat to utse the most respectful terms.

The biggest challange is how to bring members of dominant groups into the conversation and the solution.

All language envolves. One must also be mindful that people of any group do not think or feel the same way about identity words.

We should always remember that we  never only one thing, but instead members of many groups.

B.D. Tatum, "Who am I? The Complexities of Identity"

Erik Erikson, Psychoanalytic theorist writes,
"We deal with a process "located" in the core of the individual and yet also in the core of his communal culture..."

This "gifted" dimension of my identity was regularly commented upon by teachers and classmates alike and quickly became part of my self-definition.

People are commonly defined as other on the basis of race or ethnicity, gender, religion, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, age, and physical or mentaly ability.

Dominant groups, by definition, set the parameters within which the subordinate operate. The dominant group holds the power and authority in society relative to the subordinates and determines how the power and authority may be acceptably used.

When a subordinate demonstrates positive qualities believed to be more characteristic of dominants, the individual is defined by dominants as anomaly.

Question:
1. Why is people definition must included sexual orientation? In some culture its taboo and even in many religion its already define that sexual orientation is heterosexual.

Desmond Tutu on leadership

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrCeVwwu0Xc

A Leader is who are acting as servant too.
Willing to suffer for his/her people.
Must be Inspiring

Deidre Combs, Way of Conflict - Part 1: pp. xv-44

Conflict As Contest
"Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"  -  John Watson
I avoided conflict. But that didn't seem to work. I had tried ignoring painful exchanges, placating or intimidating others into silence to make conflict go away. Not one of these approaches was successful.
Conflict is not  just angry people yelling at or hurting one another
Win-win solutions can never be envisioned alone at the outset. A true win-win solution is developed when we search for an answer that gathers and incorporates everyone's needs and beliefs.
"The most intense conflict if overcome, leave behind a sense of security and calm that is not easily disturbed. It is just these intense conflicts and their conflagration which are needed to produce valuable and lasting results" - C.G. Jung

Discovering your elemental Nature
Elemental Conflict Styles
Water
Water is realm of emotions.
Water people dive into its depths. Empathic & gentle. Water has the gift of changing form when pressed by fire (become steam), air (it evaporates or become ice) or earth (it easily shifts and flows around the obstacle)

The Hidden Traps in Decision Making - John S. Hammond, Ralph L. Keeney, & Howard Raiffa

Making decisions is the most important job of any executive. It's also the toughest and the Riskiest. Bad decisions can damage a business and a career, sometimes irreparably.
Examples of the latter include the tendencies to stick with the status quo, to look for evidence confirming one's preferences, and to throw good money after bad because it's hard to admit making a mistake.

Well-documented psychological traps that are particularly likely to undermine business decisions:

1. The Anchoring Trap
When considering a decision, the mind gives disproportionate weight to the first information it receives. Initial impressions, estimates, or data subsequent thoughts and judgements.

2. The Status-Quo Trap
Decision makers display a strong bias toward alternatives that perpetuate the status quo.
Other experiments have shown that the more choices you are given, the more pull the status quo has. More people will, for instance choose the status quo when there are two alternatives to it rather than one: A and B instead of just A. Why? Choosing between A and B requires additional effort; selecting the status quo avoids that effort.

3. The Sunk-Cost Trap.
Another of our deep-seated biases is to make choies in a way that justifies past choices even when the past chices no longer seem valid

4. The Confirming-Evidence Trap
There are two fundamental psycological forces at work here. The first is our tendency to subconsciously decide what we want to do before we figure out why we want to do it. The second is our inclination to be more engaged by things we like than by thngs we dislike-a tendency well documented even in babies. Naturally, then, we are drawn to information that supports our subconscious leanings.
We tend to subsconsciously decide what to do before figuring out why we want to do it

5. The Framing Trap
a. Frames as gains versus losses.
b. Framing with different reference points.

6. The Estimating & Forcasting Traps.

7. The Overconfidence Trap

8. The Prudence Trap
"JUST BE SAFE" adjustments

9. The Recallability Trap
A dramatic or traumatic event in your own life can also distort your thinking

Forewarned Is Forearmed
The higher the stakes, the higher the risk of being caught in a psychological trap.
The psychological miscues cascade, making it harder and harder to choose wisely

MBTI

Humanmetrics Jung Typology Test™

Your Type

ENFJ

Extravert(100%) iNtuitive(38%) iNtuitive Feeling(50%) Judging(56%)

• You have strong preference of Extraversion over Introversion (100%)
• You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (38%)
• You have moderate preference of Feeling over Thinking (50%)
• You have moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving (56%)

Source:
 http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

[ENFP][INFP][ENFJ][INFJ][ESTJ][ISTJ][ESFJ][ISFJ]
[ENTP][INTP][ENTJ][INTJ][ESTP][ISTP][ESFP][ISFP]

Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging
by Joe Butt

Profile: ENFJ
Revision: 3.0
Date of Revision: 23 Feb 2005

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ENFJs are the benevolent 'pedagogues' of humanity. They have tremendous charisma by which many are drawn into their nurturant tutelage and/or grand schemes. Many ENFJs have tremendous power to manipulate others with their phenomenal interpersonal skills and unique salesmanship. But it's usually not meant as manipulation -- ENFJs generally believe in their dreams, and see themselves as helpers and enablers, which they usually are.
ENFJs are global learners. They see the big picture. The ENFJs focus is expansive. Some can juggle an amazing number of responsibilities or projects simultaneously. Many ENFJs have tremendous entrepreneurial ability.
ENFJs are, by definition, Js, with whom we associate organization and decisiveness. But they don't resemble the SJs or even the NTJs in organization of the environment nor occasional recalcitrance. ENFJs are organized in the arena of interpersonal affairs. Their offices may or may not be cluttered, but their conclusions (reached through feelings) about people and motives are drawn much more quickly and are more resilient than those of their NFP counterparts.
ENFJs know and appreciate people. Like most NFs, (and Feelers in general), they are apt to neglect themselves and their own needs for the needs of others. They have thinner psychological boundaries than most, and are at risk for being hurt or even abused by less sensitive people. ENFJs often take on more of the burdens of others than they can bear.

TRADEMARK: "The first shall be last"

This refers to the open-door policy of ENFJs. One ENFJ colleague always welcomes me into his office regardless of his own circumstances. If another person comes to the door, he allows them to interrupt our conversation with their need. While discussing that need, the phone rings and he stops to answer it. Others drop in with a 'quick question.' I finally get up, go to my office and use the call waiting feature on the telephone. When he hangs up, I have his undivided attention! Functional Analysis:

Extraverted Feeling

Extraverted Feeling rules the ENFJ's psyche. In the sway of this rational function, these folks are predisposed to closure in matters pertaining to people, and especially on behalf of their beloved. As extraverts, their contacts are wide ranging. Face-to-face relationships are intense, personable and warm, though they may be so infrequently achieved that intimate friendships are rare.

Introverted iNtuition

Like their INFJ cousins, ENFJs are blessed through introverted intuition with clarity of perception in the inner, unconscious world. Dominant Feeling prefers to find the silver lining in even the most beggarly perceptions of those in their expanding circle of friends and, of course, in themselves. In less balanced individuals, such mitigation of the unseemly eventually undermines the ENFJ's integrity and frequently their good name. In healthier individuals, deft use of this awareness of the inner needs and desires of others enables this astute type to win friends, influence people, and avoid compromising entanglements. The dynamic nature of their intuition moves ENFJs from one project to another with the assurance that the next one will be perfect, or much more nearly so than the last. ENFJs are continually looking for newer and better solutions to benefit their extensive family, staff, or organization.

Extraverted Sensing

Sensing is extraverted. ENFJs can manage details, particularly those necessary to implement the prevailing vision. These data have, however, a magical flexible quality. Something to be bought can be had for a song; the same something is invaluable when it's time to sell. (We are not certain, but we suspect that such is the influence of the primary function.) This wavering of sensory perception is made possible by the weaker and less mature status with which the tertiary is endowed.

Introverted Thinking

Introverted Thinking is least apparent and most enigmatic in this type. In fact, it often appears only when summoned by Feeling. At times only in jest, but in earnest if need be, Thinking entertains as logical only those conclusions which support Feeling's values. Other scenarios can be shown invalid or at best significantly inferior. Such "Thinking in the service of Feeling" has the appearance of logic, but somehow it never quite adds up. Introverted Thinking is frequently the focus of the spiritual quest of ENFJs. David's lengthiest psalm, 119, pays it homage. "Law," "precept," "commandment," "statute:" these essences of inner thinking are the mysteries of Deity for which this great Feeler's soul searched.

Famous ENFJs:

David, King of Israel
U.S. Presidents:
Abraham Lincoln
Ronald Reagan
Barack Obama

William Cullen Bryant, poet
Abraham Maslow, psychologist and proponent of self-actualization
Ross Perot
Sean Connery
Elizabeth Dole
Francois Mitterand
Dick Van Dyke
Andy Griffith
James Garner
William Aramony, former president of United Way
Gene Hackman (Superman, Antz)
Dennis Hopper (Speed)
Brenda Vaccaro
Craig T. Nelson (Coach)
Diane Sawyer (Good Morning America)
Randy Quaid (Bye Bye, Love; Independence Day)
Tommy Lee Jones (The Fugitive)
Kirstie Alley ("Cheers," Look Who's Talking movies)
Michael Jordan, NBA basketball player
Johnny Depp (Pirates of the Caribbean)
Oprah Winfrey
Bob Saget America's Funniest Home Videos, Full House
Julia Louis-Dreyfus ("Seinfeld")
Ben Stiller (The Royal Tenenbaums)
Peyton Manning, Indianapolis Colts quarterback
Matthew McConaughey (The Wedding Planner)
Pete Sampras, Tennis Champion
Lauren Graham ("Gilmore Girls")
Ben Affleck (The Sum Of All Fears)
John Cusack (High Fidelity)

Fictional ENFJs:

Joe Hackett, Wings

Copyright © 2012 by Joe Butt

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Chat with fellow ENFJs at the ENFJ forum by PersonalityCafe.
Career Development for ENFJs
Jung Typology for the Workplace (Pre-employment testing and team building resources for your organization)

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Type Relationships for ENFJs:

Identity
Pal
Complement
Contrast

Supplement
Anima
Suitemate
Cohort

Companion
Tribesman
Advisor
Pedagogue

Enigma
Novelty
Neighbor
Counterpart

More information about Type Relationships

[ENFP][INFP][ENFJ][INFJ][ESTJ][ISTJ][ESFJ][ISFJ]
[ENTP][INTP][ENTJ][INTJ][ESTP][ISTP][ESFP][ISFP]

Home

Source:
http://typelogic.com/enfj.html